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Breaking up is hard to do--especially when you've htem in love with someone, or at least told someone you loved him. Men and women may lash thme in anger, cry or engage in other shows of emotion. Even though dealing with such animosity is difficult, spmeone need to face the situation head-on. Telling someone you don't love Hwo anymore is something you do in person, not via voice mail or text. Tell your significant other that you have to talk. He will immediately sense what you are driving at, whether or not he wants to admit it to himself. The longer you wait to do this, the harder it will be.
Make the environment as comfortable oove possible without adding romance to the equation. Don't opt for a someobe dinner simeone a drive down the Pacific Somepne Highway, past that stretch of Santa Monica where you rekindled your lovr one warm September night. Instead, tell your partner you want to spend the day outdoors or How to tell someone you don t love them a casual lunch--perhaps at the mall. Food courts are anything xomeone romantic. Just make sure you have an area more or less to yourselves, in tp she starts to tdll French fries at you.
This may seem to run counter to what many relationship therapists would advise, but guess what? Holding someone's hand is non-committal, and it's an homage to the love you once shared. He will be yanking that hand away soon enough. Say, "I am not in love with you anymore. It's her--and if she were the new woman you met on MySpace or at work or wherever it is you think your soulmate resides, you wouldn't be having this conversation. So, why do we want it to work so badly? Well, everyone is different. The noble but misguided attempt to spare feelings is a popular reason. Others have been known to continue with this lie for the attention.
Being wanted feels good. Others believe that with time and effort they can grow to love this person back. This is not an altogether illogical reckoning. So often we are told that when faced with a difficulty we need to stick it out, try our best, and never give up. Rarely do we hear that it is okay to let go; that choosing not to try is not synonymous with failure. If you choose not to tell this person you do not love that you do not love them you will either live miserably and inwardly, poisoning yourself with the toxicity of this decision, or, the relationship will end itself.
If the latter, rest assured that it will end badly. For example, maybe you will viciously hiss the truth on an unsuspecting morning during a heated argument that innocently evolved from which of you left the cap off of the toothpaste. Maybe your instinct to flee will rise up and manifest itself as an affair; you will try to find peace in escaping from someone whom you do not love into someone whom you are using as a distraction. Maybe it will come to the light. Maybe after months of pretending your daily blowouts are just healthy arguments, the two of you will go out one night. And cart with you the sickly relationship that neither of you will allow to pass away. Maybe you will have a drink.
And another will turn into six as your lover disappears and you flirt, innocuously in your inebriated mind, with the unremarkable person beside you. It is a lit arrow that pierces your drunken lungs and fuels your liquid resolve. Maybe you turn around and breathe the truth at them like fire; it sprays sloppily from your mouth like sour vodka and venom at their feet.
Maybe you will hiccup with relief and smug satisfaction while they stare blankly at all those sharp angles jutting from their chest. Maybe he strikes you. And the sound of it alone sends you hurtling back to sobriety, allowing you to actually feel the next blow ignite across your cheek like a match struck on concrete. A lovely galaxy of white will stain the darkening sky that is the vision from your left eye. Maybe as you feel the air screeching towards you, precursor to a third hit, you will scream loud enough for someone to hear you. The outcomes of option one are innumerable and their effects long lasting.
Best to pass through it quickly if you must endure it at all. What remains is option two. It will never be easy.
Here is how you do it: Someonw their key across the table and someoe no mention of the lover you will see when you leave; this grief alone will be plenty. Nervously on the sidewalk outside their apartment. They walk towards you with a look you have seen spread like wings across their face a dozen times a week. The look this broken person gives you before taking your face between their shaky hands and kissing you like an altar.